Last night two giants in European football battled it out in a titanic showcase of flair and skill in front of a packed stadium.
After accepting the challenge laid down by the PR industry’s rent boys, Gorkana, Team Twitter (we are working on the name) ventured to South London to pick up the pieces and restore what little respect the PR industry had before Gorkana pissed on Red PR 4-0 a few weeks ago.
The omens weren’t great – @domw cried off sick and Weber’s Jonny Rosemont couldn’t turn up because he was moving house. He wasn’t actually moving on that day but the stress of thinking about moving was too much of a strain to cope. I hope he can muster the energy to make James Warren cups of tea today.
But most importantly of all, Tim Hoang didn’t quite enjoy his pasta power lunch (bit salty).
So Team Twitter were reliant on teenage scamp, Ben Robyn Matthews who’s been out of work since Starship Troopers finished, last year’s apprentice winner and now Drew Benvie’s favourite tea maker, @tommalcolm, 47-and-a-half-year-old Paul Wooding, “the best keeper not to play professionally” (his words not anyone else’s) @CMRLee, and regular Rainier PR whores Samuel J Grace, Paul Allen (now freelancing at Nelson Bostock) and Tim Hoang (taking a break from filming Halifax adverts).
Starting badly, Team Twitter gave a goal away early doors as the capacity crowd made up of Gorkana employees cheered. This was then cancelled by a cracking goal from Ben Robyn and Samuel J Grace following some vicious ankle biting of defenders. Gorkana levelled and then went ahead through a penalty and a decent strike only for Tim Hoang to level with a shot from the far out. Remember Beckham against Wimbledon about ten years ago? It wasn’t anything like it – the keeper fumbled a swerving shot through his legs. 3-3.
Paul Wooding played a blinder on the right wing turning back the clock by about 25 years Lazarus-like (though he did eventually resemble a sweaty, exasperated marshmallow by the end), Paul Allen lead the line despite some selfishness from @tim_hoang and young ‘un, Ben, Sam Grace played wherever he could be arsed standing and @Tommalcolm marshalled the defence like a posh Rio Ferdinand keeping the ridiculously buff Gorkana forward in check until the last second as we brought on the old school rules of ‘last goal wins.’
All in all, it was a successful debut from Terrific Tim’s Team of Tad-average Twitterers (as we shall now be called) considering that Charlie Foxhunter and his Gorkana boys play every week (and having a proper kit and everything!).
Anyone with a pitch want a game?